1. |
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In the bar that I brought her
It was there that I was cornered
Broke my nose in the backyard
I was drunk and they were faster
She was there with her baby
She said this is your baby
I'm a captain in the navy
Have you seen our wages lately?
That's why:
This life wasn't meant for you
I can tell you that it isn't mine
This life wasn't meant for you...
and I hardly need to tell you why
She said I knew that you would be here
It was clear that you would be here
She said she hoped that I would stay near
I said let's go back in, I'll buy you a beer
The baby looked like she was angry
She would cry and then she'd fall asleep
I'm just some nothing in the navy
It's been months since my lucky streak
That's why
This life wasn't meant for you
You were never meant to be alive
This life wasn't meant for you
I'd do better than to call you mine
This life wasn't meant for you
I'll stop wasting everybody's time
This life wasn't meant for you
I’d do better than to call you mine
But I feel you in my heart
Wasting it away
If only you would call her yours
And I know that I'm alone
Felt it ever since she was born
This can't be ignored
And I hear you when she cries likes she's bleeding
and I feel you when my card is denied
and I wash you off her clothes, smell you in the gas I can't buy
and I know you’ve got a life independent
and I know you’ve got your own bills to pay
Should I tear myself away?
Polish off my drink?
Running out the door back to cracking kitchen sinks where I’ll stay
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2. |
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It’s still cold even in the sun
I saw her and she saw me too
From my coat I slip a glove on
Just one finger seems the length of her arm
My voice lies that I’m a smarter man
My words come out like I know who I am
Just off it’s your parent’s house
They look at me like they know the scam
Touch my hand, it won’t be long
Just one more sleep, just one more dawn
If I can make it, if I’m strong
Then when you wake up I won’t be gone
I won’t be gone, I’ll stay right here
Right next to you for fifty years
A marriage lived through without love
Will fifty years be enough?
I feel bad when I think ahead
I feel bad when I think back too
She draws close, like we’re meant to be
I stay firm, I’m a good old boy
Touch my hand, it won’t be long
Just one more sleep, just one more dawn
If I can make it, if I’m strong
Then when you wake up I won’t be gone
I won’t be gone, I’ll stay right here
Right next to you for fifty years
A marriage lived through without love
Will fifty years be enough?
Touch my hand and tell me every
Golden moment golden memory
When we’re close, when we’re together
Could you say our lives are better?
Is your life better with me in it?
Before you die will we regret this
marriage lived through without love?
Will fifty years be enough?
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3. |
The Worst Part
05:21
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Morning after she was in his car
She was looking in his eyes when she laughed haha
His voice was shaky and the conversation paused
He checked his rearview mirror it was safe
Buying flowers was a waste of time
She just put them down and said they were nice
She was unresponsive he was indecisive
fhadsflkjnv
It’s a big apartment
It’s a smaller home
Your rent’s enormous but your roommate’s gone
Back at home she was polite but frank
When her father asked where she’d been last night
she said boys get different with every time
He said sweetie that’s a grown-up thing to say
Her Thornhill bedroom with its curtains open
Her father broke down when he caught her smoking
From then and always he would buy her nicotine
He said that was how your poor aunt passed away
Now she wished that she had asked him more
Just like adults say: you want what you can’t have
Back in Donald’s car, she rolled the window down
and in his awkward way, he reminded her of her dad
And she wished she’d slept with other boys
When they were wed she knew she’d made a choice
And in their bed, he slept just like a boy
She kissed his neck and thought about divorce
She made plans with neighbours and laid them on their fridge
She bought cans of fruit and packed them for their one and only kid
In the bathroom Donald spilled his heart and
said he wanted time apart and
She got lonely thinking about their bed
And that night she took the garbage out
She got drunk off wine and whiskey sours
She shook Donald awake and said their mistake
was the single reason that she had stayed faithful
The same good reason that had kept her grateful
Tired and angry he whispered most hateful
You were my last choice the night that we met
The girls that I wanted would never have slept with me
I kept on waiting for someone to come
but you were just easy and I was alone
So she washed her hands and sat alone on the bathroom tile
She closed her eyes and his anger stopped
She thinks that’s the worst part
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4. |
Confession
02:59
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One summer night, that unexpected cold
I forget his face but I remember his hold
A backyard lit by the shine of a glass...
He takes my hand
His bed seemed so wide
So he pulled me to the ground
We kissed in the dark
then I felt him sink down
I’m sorry my love, you’re the reason I tell
I feel as if I’m going to hell
I want to leave this affair...
I want to leave this man that I’ve been seeing
He says he loves me but you’re the one I reach for
I want to tell the truth about what’s been happening
I’ve searched around for something I can’t reach for
I want to leave
but he takes my hand and he guides me
No, I can’t be so cruel
I just want you to believe that everything I did wasn’t up to me
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5. |
Widow 1
03:33
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Missed my flight back home to her
Like fiction I was late
Tried to sleep
My hands won’t keep from shaking as I wait
Home is dark
The lights are off
The sky is far away
It’s gonna be a long goodbye
Please tell me what to say
Wanna share my drink with her
It slips down like a creek
Home is dark
The liquor’s gone
It puts her right to sleep
When she left me
Quietly
Holding two coins over each of her eyes
It was one day
Some day
Now it’s the day where we gather to say our goodbyes
Bye bye bye bye
From up high I see the bridge
The lion standing strong
If the mountain holds my weight
I’ll stay here until dawn
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6. |
The Bond
04:53
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I tie her hands with a string of rope
I tell her tell me with a single stroke, what you want to tell me
"Believe I’m yours until you tell me go
You’re my favourite attachment
Now untie this knotted bow"
I see her later and she says she’s late
I tell her tell me in a simple way
What she wants to do now
"Just dial a number up and set a date
You don’t love me enough yeah
But we’ll have another some day"
Let’s both get up and dance the dance tonight
She says it’s wrong so it must be right
Give me your wing, I know where we can fly
Fly into the new world tonight
I promise her that she won’t be alone
I bite my nail off and I sit at home, on the day she needs me
She can’t concede what she can’t control
She won’t take me for granted
Ink etched, like cobblestone
I’m in my home and I hear a voice
I’m in my home and I hear a voice underneath my pillow
I’m in my home and I hear a voice
She says something romantic
Then her scars approaching me
I know you can’t believe my word
But every call you make is heard
And every morning I will be there for, be there for you
I know you’ve taken all you can
A bird can’t fly until it stands
And every morning I will be there for, be there for you
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7. |
It's a Good Song
04:59
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And the same song comes on
It's a good song, I like it
And I hope you will be the right girl for me
She crawled into bed this morning
And the lights were on like he knew just where she'd been
And she told me I was sick for making her lie
And she smokes in bed so her breath smells just like nicotine
And the same song comes on
It's a good song, I like it
And I hope you will be the right girl for me
She calls for her husband when she comes
She never tells me his first name
She sleeps on the beach and yells out Tom
She looks like my lover in the shade
But out in the sun she has to go away
She says go away now
She doesn't mean it
But there I go, there I go
Her fingernails a pink tint
Like rock and roll
And she calls me back
She's thought of me
Says I won't compare you to my husband
I both love you differently
And the point of this is not to hurt
But to find a better purpose than I've managed in this world
And this world is like a ferris wheel
But right now we're only midway
Half the sky's not yet revealed
She says he reads her statements every month
So honey can you pay for lunch
She never calls me, it's always the other way
But last night I waited outside her door
I could see her, praying that I wouldn't stay
But I can dance better than anyone she's ever seen before
And the same song comes on
It's a good song, I like it
And I hope you will be the right girl for me
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8. |
Pound for Pound
03:11
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I could be the one who holds you tight
Take you by the hand and treat you right
I could be the one from dusk till dawn
Think that I’m in luck cause you’re so fun
You spoke the last of my voice and you said it better
You spoke out over the noise of our family dinner
Why did you feed your bones to the hound?
When we’ve matched each pound for pound?
I could be the one that breaks your arm
Think that I am here until I’m gone
I could be the leak that clogs your pipes
Browner every day, dark as night
I was not waiting for you
And I liked it better
I knew just just what to do
You’re a babysitter
Why did you feed your bones to the hound,
When we’ve matched each pound for pound?
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9. |
Bad Boyfriend
02:38
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You know that I love you baby
You know that you drive me crazy
and you know what I say is true...
Know I love you
You know that I want you baby
and in time you will have my baby
and we will be all that you need...
Just all three
I know how you feel about me
I know that you want me happy
and now you can get up off the floor...
in the kitchen
You know that I'd never hurt you
You know that you said you'd leave him
So tonight I can do what I want...
What i think's right
Duck down, it won't be much longer...
Duck down, is it growing harder?
You have faults
But I get results...
Oh, in the kitchen
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10. |
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My heart is set on you
Can I tell you something else?
There’s a fear that holds me back
It comes from the darkest part of myself
So if I tell you who I am...
Will you be the one that’s there?
The one that holds me close and tells me I’m whole
Who reaches inside me for something I can’t find
Who can’t pretend the past was a plan
Touching me, touching you, touching me
My heart is set on the truth
Would it be so hard to tell?
When we met I hid the proof
Place a bet, I’m going to hell
But in this bed there’s only you
Nothing else moves
My heart can’t speak for itself
But if it could talk I know what it’d tell
It would say to you the love that it felt
As it placed its lips over your mouth
Well I tried to say but you are the first one who holds me close
And tells me I’m whole
Who reaches inside me for something I can’t find
Who can’t pretend the past was a plan
Who’d never forget all the times that I looked back
But just of course that line that I bought
Touching me, touching you, touching me
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11. |
Love Always Comes
03:53
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Sometimes she wished the day was like the night
The sun would set would at twelve pm
A wrinkle in her eye
Sometimes she wished her hands were small and light
Not this stick of wiry branches
Or knuckles that snap just like matchsticks
Sometimes she wished her house was on the water
Or thrown far from this driveway
A sunken future treasure
Sometimes she wished her mother was her daughter
That she would wake up every morning
Sip a red and bark out orders
Do you wanna take a chance with me?
Bathe together, live together?
Share together, think together?
Try to raise a kid together?
Try to raise a son or daughter?
Sometimes she wished the day was like the night
The sun would set would at twelve pm
All the way in the sky
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Lev Lewis Toronto, Ontario
I am very skinny
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